This long series of posts by an inmate who just got out of prison after doing two years for armed robbery is riveting. Lots of great material most of which cannot be printed here.
So I just got out of prison
...and fuck it if I've forgotten how to work a mouse and hit the submit button too soon. Shit [sic] has changed. So many boards now. I don't know what the fuck is going on. Where do I start? Two years inside and it's like the whole world has changed. Just wanted a board where things stayed the same....who the fuck if Justin Bieber?Is. Is Justin Bieber. Lost my ability to spell....My cable got cancelled while I was away so I can't even find out. Thank fuck for wireless internet, I swear to God it's faster now too. Seriously, it's like I've traveled through time. Fucking iPads look like shit out the future. Feel like I've missed a decade...
I joked to my cell mate on the first day that at least the GFC [Global Financial Crisis, AT] couldn't fuck us inside. He'd been done for assaulting a cop when his house got taken by the bank. But within months 'GFC___' became the standard reply to any query as to how black market prices were suddenly going through the roof. The price of a deck of smokes tripled. There was an actual economic reason about this. I went away in Michigan, where a lot of people lost their houses, mostly poor people already. When they had to move away from the prison, it meant they couldn't bring their loved ones as much contraband group, which meant the price of what there was sky rocketed....Bet you didn't read about that one in the Wall Street Journal.
My first time in solitary was during a mass transfer, which is when our pen would be filled with extra inmates from another pen over night before being moved on. I was there for three days. The first day wasn't so bad. In the beginning, I thought 'this is interesting' at least. And I kind of enjoyed being alone. I jacked off a lot. The second day, I read the bible. Which is the only book allowed in ad seg. The third day... I began to imagine I'd been forgotten about, and I started to panic. Like Mau-dib says "Fear is the Mind Killer". Once you start down the road, there is no going back. You think you can handle it, like being alone isn't so bad, like it's almost a relief... But they make the room just the slight little bit too small. You lose track of time. You can't see the light or figure out what day it is. You resort to counting out loud the seconds. You can't distract yourself anymore and you start pacing but there isn't enough room to pace and it just makes it worse. I'd never had a panic attack before, so I didn't know what to expect. My heart just started pounding out of my chest and I felt like I was going to faint. I wanted to faint, so I could at least sleep and waste some time. But I couldn't. I ended up by stay in ad seg screaming for help, until they came in and tasered me. I woke up back in my old cell. The next morning, they pulled me out of bed, and said because I fucked up in ad seg... I'd be put back in ad seg. For a week. I screamed and tried to get away on my way back so they put leg cuffs on me and didn't take them off. I got tasered again. This just made it worse. That was when I decided to get some dope as soon as I was out. On the plus side, I now have scary accurate recall of obscure biblical passages.